Andrew Huggan

Andrew Huggan

Wee County singer/songwriter.

Staff Christmas Party

Most of us have been there – the staff Christmas party, the one night of the year when people seem to go a bit crazy.  Having been to several such parties, I felt it was time to capture my observations and experiences in song.  You’ve never heard a Christmas song like this before!

I’ve spent all day on the telephone
My brains are mince and my mind is blown
Can’t wait for five o clock to come
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight
My glad-rags are packed up in my drawer
Cleaned and ironed and looking braw
I’ll be the finest lad that you’ve ever saw
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight

Five o clock comes, time to get dressed
Put some gel in my hair ‘cos it looks a mess
Run for the bus, say goodbye to stress
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight

I get to the place, I try to find my seat
Everyone looks so swell, everyone looks so neat
I think tonight’s gonna go down a treat
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight
I meet my mates and we’re having a laugh
Tonight I seem them as friends, not just members of staff
Normally I can’t put up with their chaff
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight

The banter’s flowing and it’s time to dine
We’ve pulled the crackers and we’ve opened the wine
The music’s started and I’m feeling fine
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight

I’ve had some pints and some drams as well
Got up from my seat and I nearly fell
But I don’t care ‘cos I’m feeling well
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight
Already someone’s had too much
Their calling their boss a such and such
It’s really funny to see, it’s really funny to watch
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight

Their jokes are funny when they’re normally not
Trying to work out how many rounds I’ve bought
It’s Christmas, who cares, let’s have another shot!
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight

It’s time to get up and dance, I decide
Everyone’s on the floor doing the “Cha Cha Slide”
I cannae stop laughing and it hurts my sides
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight
I’ve had too much now, I think I might spew
I need to run and find the nearest loo
The cubicle’s vacant and that’s my cue
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight

How I got home, I don’t remember
It’s always the same each December
I’m dreading Monday, when I hear the stories
I hope the details aren’t too gory
I’ll never learn, I’ll never see the light
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight
It’s the staff Christmas party tonight

One Response to Staff Christmas Party

  1. Absolutely amazing Andrew, well done

    Permalink

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: